On Poop...

  • Trinity: "I was prairie dogging it."
  • Me: "What does that mean?"
  • Trinity: "It means I had to poop."
  • Me: "My best friend's mother-in-law says "squeezing out a monkey tail".
  • Trinity: "I usually say I'm taking the Browns to the Superbowl or that I'm taking the Cosby kids to the pool."
  • Trinity: "The Boondock Saints 2 is two hours long."
  • Me: "There's a two?!"
  • Trinity: "Yes!"
  • Me: "Where the hell have I been?"
  • Trinity: "...finga poppin' each otha's assholes!!"

Happy Valendooms Day, Tumblr!!

Trinity is watching Catching Fire. An we may not be friends after this. (Jk)

Trinity is watching Catching Fire. An we may not be friends after this. (Jk)


Annoying Moms on Facebook

  • Trinity: "They're like 'My baby boy if 5 months old today. Can't believe how time flies!'"
  • Trinity: "Let me know when they're like, 5 months old today and then, tomorrow, they're fuckin' 27. 'Cause that would be amazing!"

Today is Trinity’s birthday!!!

Kid blowing birthday candles fail


NIN vs. Johnny Cash

  • Trinity: "That song just seems like it was meant for Johnny."
  • Me: "I love how you call him Johnny, like you guys are buddies."
  • Trinity: "We are. I talk to him every night before I go to bed."

Trinity's Parched

  • Trinity: "There's nothing to drink in this house and I'm parched!"
  • Me: "Drink water."
  • Trinity: "It tastes like faucet!"

High School Yearbook Superlatives

  • Me: "Oh my God. It's been 10 years since I graduated high school."
  • Trinity: "Are you gonna' go to the reunion?"
  • Me: "I was home schooled."
  • Trinity: "You and your mom should have a reunion."
  • Me: "Shut up."
  • Trinity: "I bet you had the best smile."
  • Me: "Shut up!"
  • Trinity: "And the prettiest eyes."
  • Me: "Are those actual superlatives?"
  • Trinity: "They could have been. You could've had your own yearbook. And you would've won the best everything."


  • Trinity: "I'm gonna' be a conspiracist."
  • Me: "Uh..."
  • Trinity: "If that's the word for it."
  • Me: "It's not. That's not a word."
  • Trinity: "Sure it is."
  • Me: "No. It's conspiracy theorist."
  • Trinity: "But, I'm such a conspiracist that I think you're wrong."