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On Poop...

  • Trinity: "I was prairie dogging it."
  • Me: "What does that mean?"
  • Trinity: "It means I had to poop."
  • Me: "My best friend's mother-in-law says "squeezing out a monkey tail".
  • Trinity: "I usually say I'm taking the Browns to the Superbowl or that I'm taking the Cosby kids to the pool."
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  • Trinity: "The Boondock Saints 2 is two hours long."
  • Me: "There's a two?!"
  • Trinity: "Yes!"
  • Me: "Where the hell have I been?"
  • Trinity: "...finga poppin' each otha's assholes!!"
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Trinity is watching Catching Fire. An we may not be friends after this. (Jk)

Trinity is watching Catching Fire. An we may not be friends after this. (Jk)

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Annoying Moms on Facebook

  • Trinity: "They're like 'My baby boy if 5 months old today. Can't believe how time flies!'"
  • Trinity: "Let me know when they're like, 5 months old today and then, tomorrow, they're fuckin' 27. 'Cause that would be amazing!"
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Today is Trinity’s birthday!!!

Kid blowing birthday candles fail

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NIN vs. Johnny Cash

  • Trinity: "That song just seems like it was meant for Johnny."
  • Me: "I love how you call him Johnny, like you guys are buddies."
  • Trinity: "We are. I talk to him every night before I go to bed."
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Trinity's Parched

  • Trinity: "There's nothing to drink in this house and I'm parched!"
  • Me: "Drink water."
  • Trinity: "It tastes like faucet!"
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High School Yearbook Superlatives

  • Me: "Oh my God. It's been 10 years since I graduated high school."
  • Trinity: "Are you gonna' go to the reunion?"
  • Me: "I was home schooled."
  • Trinity: "You and your mom should have a reunion."
  • Me: "Shut up."
  • Trinity: "I bet you had the best smile."
  • Me: "Shut up!"
  • Trinity: "And the prettiest eyes."
  • Me: "Are those actual superlatives?"
  • Trinity: "They could have been. You could've had your own yearbook. And you would've won the best everything."
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"Conspiracist"

  • Trinity: "I'm gonna' be a conspiracist."
  • Me: "Uh..."
  • Trinity: "If that's the word for it."
  • Me: "It's not. That's not a word."
  • Trinity: "Sure it is."
  • Me: "No. It's conspiracy theorist."
  • Trinity: "But, I'm such a conspiracist that I think you're wrong."
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Trinity Lives Across the Street from a Church

  • Trinity: "I want to know what's in the church's shed."
  • Me: "Children."
  • Trinity: "Is that where they keep their sinners?"